Imaginary Stage Part 1

As a journalism major, I've covered a fare share of sports, whether it's for my college newspaper, the local paper or a radio station, I've been fortunate to have at least some experience before graduating.

In these experiences, I've had several interviews. Some of them have been one-on-one and others are in press conference and while in these press conferences, I've wondered a time or two what it would be like to be the one answering the questions instead of asking them. That's when I set up a whole scenario in my head. Even though it was all part of my imagination, it didn't exactly go how I was hoping. Take a look.

As I walked up to the podium I stumbled and almost tripped and then I said, "Wow, that's not at all an embarrassing way to start a press conference. There's a lot of things happening in the world of sports. These are things we must stop ignoring and no longer turn a blind eye to it. I'm thankful to Jerry Jones for finally letting go of The Player and wish him well, depending on where he ends up. I don't see the Cowboys signing another receiver because they still have young talent at the position and they need to focus on defense.

Question from audience (Q): Where do you see Owens ending up next?
A: Next question.
Q: Do you believe Drew Rosenhaus when he says he's negotiating with a lot teams that want Owens.
A: Next Question
Q: What do you think the chances are of Shaq and Kobe being united?
A: I see them uniting after the Beatles do. That's when Kobe sings "I wanna hold your hand" to Shaq.
Q: Who's your favorite to win it all in March Madness?
A: Next Question
Q: If your school makes the bracket and you go, who would you most desire to see?
A: Erin Andrews. Next question.
Q: No, I meant what team would you like to see play?
A: Next Question
Q: What's your favorite A-Rod nickname?
A: Who's A-Rod? You must mean A-Roid or A-Fraud.
Q: Since No. 16 is retired for Kansas City, what will Matt Cassel wear?
A: I don't know, but it's the Chiefs. They have plenty to choose from.
Q: Your take on the 'Boys taking Kitna?
A: I don't think...(long pause to collect my thoughts and fight back the tears) I don't think it sends the right message to Romo. That's my quarterback. That's my quarterback.
Q: Between Manny, T.O., and A-Rod, who would you rather have as a teammate?
A: Depends on the sport. If it's baseball I'll take Manny. If It's football, I'll take A-Rod.
Q: Most likely to have a successful NFL career: Pacman or Mike Vick?
A: Success? Vick is most likely to return, but won't have much success.
Q: You didn't address the release of Roy Williams. Your thoughts?
A: I wish him well and good luck in coverage.
Q: IF you could.....
A: I'm sorry to interrupt but that's about all the time I have now. We will conclude this press conference later. I'm getting hungry and I smell the burgers in the back.

Dallas Disaster

If you're in charge of an NFL team and you watch another go 0-16, you'd figure one thing you don't want to do is bring in that losing team's quarterback. You certainly don't want to trade away a cornerback when you're struggling in the secondary as is for that losing quarterback.

Jon Kitna signed a deal with Dallas that has Cowboy fans shaking their heads and asking why. If the team really wanted an overrated veteran quarterback, they should have gone after someone like Jeff Garcia. Well, hopefully he's smart enough to know he can't wear No. 8. That way they wouldn't have to give up a corner. Let's just hope he doesn't guarantee 10 wins for the 'Boys. At least we know one thing: as long as Jerry Jones is in town, Matt Millen won't be our GM.

Although, Cowboy fans may have to worry about Jerry picking up Bronco receiver Brandon Marshall who was arrested again. Jones has said he's not interested in Michael Vick which is a good thing but hopefully it's not because he doesn't want to deal with sibling rivalry by bringing in Marcus. Oh yeah, why in the world did Dallas let go of Chris Canty? They better give Demarcus Ware ASPAP!!!!!

On a totally unrelated side note: Dear Kurt Warner, please don't sign with the 49ers. Oh and on yet another unrelated note, if you think all we discuss here is football, well, that's not entirely true. We won't be filling out NFL brackets later in the month and quarterbacks aren't in spring training.