Snyder's Letter

For my podcast (found on the right) I've started what we call the Drama Queen of the Week Award and I must say, this was a tough week, but in a good way. This past week provided a lot to choose from.
I could have gone with Brandon "I'll Spikes your eyes out". Ashley Lambert of the New Mexico soccer team (see the video if you haven't already) would have been an easy one to with as well. Even though I'm a Cowboys fan, I strongly considered Roy Williams for saying he has to work harder to make grabs than the other wideouts on the team.
Instead of saying so and so deserves the award for doing this or that, we've taken a new approach, hopefully something original. We write a letter as if it's from a particular athlete, coach, fan or someone in the world of sports campaigning for the special award.
Last week's episode titled "Halloween" was the first time we went about it this way, and it went to Jamarcus Russell who was talking about how difficult life can be as an NFL player and the expectations they must live up to or else.
This week though, we gave it to Redskins owner Daniel Snyder who more or less apologized to the fans but also asked for no signs to be brought to the games. Yeah, you think it might be because they were bashing him? Anyway, here's the letter from Snyder. Oh, on a side note, you can hear the other candidates on the podcast if you're that bored.

Dear Hague Sports:

First of I want to say I’m sorry to all my fans. From the bottom of my heart I am sorry. If I could take back some of the things that have been done in this organization, I would but not even Tom Cruise has enough money to do that yet.

I’m sorry to the fans for the fact my players can’t play the game and I’m sorry the coaches aren’t doing their jobs properly. I thought that giving Albert Haynseworth $100 million would boost the team morale. I was hoping Jim Zorn would resign after I took away his play calling duties.

What do you do with that? I can’t fire him because I have a bad reputation. I decorated my office with pictures of Mike Shannahan and Bill Cowher and still the guy won’t take a hint. I asked him “how’s my favorite former coach doing?” to which he responded, “I don’t know, I haven’t talked to Coach Gibbs lately.

My other problem is even though I apologized, my fans don’t like me. Just the other day I saw a sign that said Snyder, then the “S” word. I mean, forgive my bad language but I don’t stink. After I saw the sign, I made a rule, no signs in my stadium allowed. They’re only being used to hurt people’s feelings. Now that I took the signs away though, people hate me. I’m just doing if for the safety of our fans but maybe I should stop trying to protect them.

Here’s what I need from you. If I can’t win the Super Bow, I need to win something else, the Drama Queen award. Nothing’s going in my favor and I need a momentum shift. I need the Drama Queen Award. How does $2 billion sound?